OMG

Kiriman Azman – KGUTM

  1. When ur life is in darkness……
    Pray 2 God and ask Him 2 free u from darkness….. and
    If u r still in darkness..Pls pay ur TNB bill.

  2. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
    You can be sure of one thing;
    Either the car is new or the wife.

  3. An angry zzzz man entered a shop and shouted :
    Where’s my free gift with this cooking oil?
    Shopkeeper : What free gift??
    zzzz man : Oi, here got put “Cholesterol FREE!”

  4. If u need ADVICE, SMS ME,
    If u need DARLING, CALL ME,
    If u need HELP, E-MAIL ME,
    IF U NEED MONEY, Nombor yang anda dail, tiada dalam perkhidmatan KAMI.

  5. What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?
    Stress is when wife is pregnant,… Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant.
    Panic is when both are pregnant.

  6. Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
    Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack
    & our driver ran away…

  7. A young boy asks his Dad :”What is the difference between confident and confidential?
    Dad says: “You are my son, I’m confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that is confidential.

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Thinking out of the box…!

Shared by Hj Ramli Ibrahim – PPP UTM

These were the few questions asked during HR interview in late 80s & early 90s by multi-national companies… The answers were really stunning and inspiring…….. Thinking out of the box…! A must READ ….the BEST ANSWERS received.

Question 1:

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it’s raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus:

  • An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

  • An old friend who once saved your life.

  • The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car?

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

He simply answered:

“I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.”

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to “Think Outside of the Box.”

Question 2:

What will you do if I run away with your sister?

The candidate who was selected answered ” I will not get a better match for my sister than you sir”

Question 3:

Interviewer (to a student girl candidate) What if one morning you woke up & found that you were pregnant.

Girl: I will be very excited and take a day off, to celebrate with my husband.

Normally an unmarried girl will be shocked to hear this, but she managed it well. Why I should think it in the wrong way, she said later when asked.

Question 4:

Interviewer: He ordered a cup of coffee for the candidate. Coffee arrived kept before the candidate, then he asked what is before you?

Candidate: Instantly replied “Tea”

He got selected.

You know how and why did he say “TEA” when he knows very well that coffee was kept before.

(Answer: The question was “What is before you (U alphabet) Reply was “TEA” ( T alphabet)

Alphabet “T” was before Alphabet “U”

Question5;

Interviewer said “I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question.

Think well before you make up your mind!” The boy thought for a while and said, “my choice is one really difficult question.”

“Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this. “What comes first, Day or Night?”

The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, “It’s the DAY sir!”

“How” the interviewer asked,

“Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!”


Sometimes just thinking out of the box is all it takes

Org tua vs awek cun

Kiriman jimmy ngow – golfer UTM

workout-routine

A 55 yrs old man asked the trainer in the gym
Old man : i want to impress that beautiful lady over there
Which machine should i use ?
Trainer : outside the gym there is an ATM machine use that…..

Bukti sayang

Kiriman Hj D – KGUTM

jom pakat baca:
Suatu Kisah…
Seorang nenek mencuri dengar perbualan sepasang remaja yang tengah dating di taman.
: Awak sayang saya?
: Sayang laa…
: Kita sudah bercinta 4 bulan, apa buktinya?
: A B C D E F G
: Apa tuu?
: A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl.
: So sweet…
Si nenek yang dengar tadi rasa jealous & frust sebab dia dah nikah 40 tahun tapi suami dia tak pernah buat macam tu. Lalu si nenek terus pulang & bertanya pada si Atok.
: Bang, awak sayang tak dengan anje?
: Eh… mestilah.
: Buktinya apa?
: Laa… kita kan dah bersama 40 tahun.
: Ahhhhh… tak best, anje nak bukti yang ada huruf A B C D E F G!
: Ooo.. ok untuk anje, abang bagi A B C D E F G H I J K lah…
(Si nenek happy sangat, yang bercinta 4 bulan cuma dapat A hingga G tapi dia dapat A hingga K)
: Apa tu A B C D E F G H I J K?
: Anje ni seorang yg… Amazing, Beautiful, Cute, Dynamic, Elegant, Fantastik, Good, Hightech…
(Si nenek suka giler mendengarnya, sambil tersenyum si nenek bertanya lagi)
: Yang I J K tu pulak apa?
: I’m Just Kidding.


Cut n paste citer kwn

Boss

Sendaan YDP-KGUTM (Prof Azrai)

One morning, Boss hangs a poster in his office
”I AM THE BOSS, DO NOT FORGET THAT”
He returns from lunch, finds a note from his secretary.
”Sir, your wife called, she wants her poster back home”  

IMG_3898.JPG

photo Jimmy Ngow

Golf Etiquette

What people can expect during a round of golf, from beginning to end:

Arrive:

  1. If caddies are available:
  2. Warm Up:
  3. First Tee:

Avoid Slow play:

  1. When your group is not keeping up with the pace of play of the group in front of you:
  2. When you reach your ball, check the lie, select your club, visualize your swing and shot, and then play your shot.
  3. From the time you select your club until you actually hit your shot, you should take no more than 30 to 45 seconds.
  4. If you aren’t ready to play when it is your turn, encourage one of your fellow players to play.

Maintaining the course:

  1. Replace your divots.
  2. Turf tends to explode on impact, making it difficult, if not impossible, to replace the divot. In this case, you have two options:
  3. Bring a rake into the bunker with you — remembering that you should always enter the bunker from the low side at a point nearest to the ball.
  4. Important to repair any pitch marks or indentations caused by the ball hitting the green.
  5. Using a tee, knife, key or repair tool, repair the mark by working the edges towards the center, without lifting the center of the mark. Don’t tear the grass. Finish by smoothing the area with a club or your foot. Try to get the area smooth enough to putt over.
  6. Just remember that while the Rules of Golf allow you to repair pitch marks on your putting line, you cannot repair spike marks on your putting line until after you have putted.

On the green, remember:

  1. Don’t step on your fellow players putting lines — the imaginary line that connects the ball to the hole.
  2. If your ball is on a player’s line, volunteer to mark the ball.
  3. If you’re ball is not furthest from the cup:
  4. Do not stand where you might distract a fellow player and don’t move.
  5. Don’t make any noise when your fellow player is preparing to putt.
  6. If you don’t have a caddie and are asked to tend the flagstick, make sure you aren’t standing on anyone’s line.
  7. Hold the flagstick at arm’s length so the flag doesn’t flutter in the breeze, and make sure your shadow doesn’t fall across the hole or line. Loosen the bottom of the flagstick so it doesn’t stick when you try and remove it by pulling it straight up after the other player has putted. The flagstick should be removed right after the player has hit the ball.
  8. If you lay down the flagstick, lay it off the green to prevent doing any damage to the green.
  9. Generally, the player closest to the hole will tend the flagstick.
  10. After everyone has putted out, immediately walk to the next tee.

Miscellaneous:

  1. If you hit a tee shot into the woods and suspect that it might be either lost or out-of-bounds, the Rules of Golf allow you to play a second or provisional ball.
  2. For safety’s sake, never hit when there’s a chance you might be able to reach the group ahead of you, and anytime you hit a shot that you think even has remote chance of hitting any other players, yell “fore” immediately, and make a point of apologizing to any players your ball lands near.
  3. Displays of frustration are one thing, but outbursts of temper are quite another. Yelling, screaming, throwing clubs or otherwise making a fool of yourself are unacceptable and, in some cases, dangerous to yourself and others.
  4. As a player, you also have a responsibility to learn and understand the Rules of Golf.
  5. Five of the most common Rules are those deal with Out of Bounds, Lost balls, Unplayable lies, cart paths and water hazards.
  6. Moving on, if your group stops for refreshments, either at the turn (the end of nine holes) or following the round, volunteer to pay for them, as well as offer to buy drinks for the caddies.
  7. Whoever pays at the turn, however, should not be expected to pay for refreshments at the end of the round.
  8. Finally, at the end of the round, shake hands with your fellow players, congratulate the winners, console the losers, and thank them for their company. At the end of the day, the great pleasure of the game is the time you get to spend with your friends whether old friends or new friends you just made through the game.

For a complete discussion of the Rules of Golf, visit the USGA’s web site.

rules and decisions

Kuliah 20 minit

Ingatkan kedi aje yang dapat tip habis main. Rupa-rupanya aku dgn kawan kawan yang lain pon ada tip jugak drpd top 100 teachers in utm. Dr Zainuddin Abu Bakar ;

image

Suggestion: utk lapangan melana
Hole 1 Toff pakai driver
Hole 2 Toff pakai driver
Hole 3 Pakai 7 iron
Hole 4 Toff pakai wood 3
Hole 5 Toff pakai wood 3
Hole 6 Pakai 9 iron
Hole 7 Toff pakai driver
Hole 8 Toff pakai wood 3
Hole 9 Toff pakai driver
Hole 10 Toff pakai wood 3
Hole 11 Toff pakai driver
Hole 12 Pakai iron 5
Hole 13 Toff pakai driver
Hole 14 Pakai iron 7
Hole 15 Toff pakai driver
Hole 16 Toff pakai driver
Hole 17 Toff pakai driver
Hole 18 Toff pakai driver

otak-manusia

Sdkt tips utk improve skor bila main:

  1. Fokus game hole by hole
  2. Jgn fokus skor 90 tu
  3. Bila tebabas jgn gelojoh nk attack
  4. Attack bila ada peluang
  5. Bila dh ready nk pukul hnya ingat satu je iaitu direction yg kita dh tetapkan
  6. Masa nk pukul jgn pikir air, tarik, shank, dove, over, short, bunker, ob dan sewaktu dgnnya
  7. Masa pukul buat imagination skt bygkan kita pukul bola naik n on
  8. Masa nk put atas green jgn lupa bwk kain basah – kain basah utk lap bola n juga utk check line n also to calm down

Zainudin Abu Bakar HCP 10 (okt 2014 – JGCC)
[9:45AM, 10/14/2014] Dr. Zainudin: Tips:

  1. Latihan d range lebih kepada membetulkan n memantapkan swing dan bukan mengukur distance
  2. D range utk cari perbezaan swing antara iron panjang sedang n pendek woods n driver
  3. Practice green utk practice pendulum principle [9:46AM, 10/14/2014] Dr. Zainudin:
  4. Green bukan utk cari jarak semata2 kerana speed green beza2 [9:46AM, 10/14/2014] Dr. Zainudin:
  5. Practice green beri peluang tgk semula body stance goyang ke tak [9:47AM, 10/14/2014] Dr. Zainudin:
  6. Chipping pun utk cari kesesuaian masing2 [9:48AM, 10/14/2014] Dr. Zainudin:
  7. Chipping cari perbezaan antara bola tinggi bola rendah club face bukak n tutup [9:49AM, 10/14/2014] Dr. Zainudin:
  8. Bunker utk bermain dgn pasir fahami nature pasir supaya blh handle [9:49AM, 10/14/2014] Dr. Zainudin:

Tayar kereta

Kiriman PM Dr. Razali HCP 13 – golfer utm

Info Penting Buat Pengguna Kenderaan

Maklumat ini penting utk kita fahami berkenaan dgn tayar kenderaan yg sedang kita gunakan.

image

contoh rim 18 inci, lebar tayar 225xx, tebal 45xx, beban maksimum 95xx, top speed 240kmh

  1. Kod Tayar Kenderaan.

Contoh 205/65/R1594H.

205 = Lebar
65 = Tinggi
R = Radial
15 = saiz / rim
94 = Had maksimum bebanan
H = Had maksimum kelajuan 210 km / jam

Jika ianya abjad yg terakhir, ianya seperti di bawah;

S = Maksimum had laju 180 km / jam
T = Maksimum had laju 190 km / jam
U = Maksimum had laju 200 km / jam
V = Maksimum had laju 240 km / jam
Z = Maksimum had laju 240 km / jam
W = Maksimum had laju 270 km / jam
Y = Maksimum had laju 300 km / jam

  1. Setiap tayar ada 4 angka tercatit di sisi tayar.

Contoh 0514.

Ianya menunjukkan tayar baru keluaran kilang pd minggu ke 5 tahun 2014.

Tempoh penggunaan tayar adalah selama 5 tahun dari tarikh ianya dikeluarkan.

Tayar baru yg berusia lebih dari 5 tahun masih boleh digunakan tetapi ianya telah menjadi keras sebab getah tayar sudah tamat tempoh (expired). Jika tukar tayar yg baharu pastikan tahun pengeluarannya adalah tahun yg terkini.

Jika beli tayar keluaran tahun 2013 minta diskaun sebanyak 20% drp harga asal.

Berikut adalah diskaun harga tayar mengikut kpd tahun tayar yg dikelurkan dari tahun semasa (2014);

2012 = 40%
2011 = 60%
2010 = 80%
2009 = Percuma

Semoga perkongsian ini membantu kita agar tidak ditipu oleh kedai jual tayar.